Much Ado About Maylene
by Lawnmowergirl
Summary: When Paul finds out that his oh-so-irritating older brother actually has a love life...cue temper tantrum. CurtainShipping Reggie x Maylene is part of the plot in an indirect sort of way. Rated for use of the S word and mentions of where babies come from.


"You know what this is?" Paul muttered loudly. "This is freaking ridiculous".

"You should be proud of me," his older brother replied. "You just don't know how to be happy about anyone else's accomplishments."

"Yeah, well, maybe I'd be a bit happier if you'd told me _before _I let you give me a ride to the Pokémon Center. Knowing what I know now, I think I'd rather walk."

"Paul, I washed the-"

"It's more the thought of it than anything else."

Reggie ignored his brother and refocused on driving. The Pokémon Center - next left, wasn't it? It had been a while since he'd been there, since he had so many Hyper Potions and Elixirs and Full Heals for the Pokémon he looked after-

"IT'S NOT FAIR!" Paul screamed suddenly. Reggie almost knocked over an empty trash can, startling a Starly out of hiding. "What-"

"You always get to do everything first! You're always better than me at everything!"

"Paul, I'm older than you," Reggie pulled over and parked the van on the side of the road.

"Good. I'm walking the rest of the way" Paul opened the car door too forcefully and it tried to close itself on his arm. "Shit."

He had gotten out of the car and walked about four yards when he turned around.

"Your Pokéballs are in the backseat."

"I _know." _

_If looks could kill…_Reggie thought, _I'd be extremely dead, wouldn't I? _His brother looked just about ready to punch him in the face.

"So what if you're older than me?" Paul muttered, gathering up his Pokéballs, "So what? You're nineteen, and I'm sixteen. Whatever. Anyway, how old is your _girlfriend_?"

Reggie had never heard any word with that much venom dripping tangibly from it. "_Maylene _is _eighteen._" he replied, trying very hard not to kick his brother.

"She looks more like twelve." Paul remarked, walking away from the car.

"She's just short. And…not very well-developed. That's all. "

"Hey, whatever helps you sleep at night." Paul smirked.

Reggie was about to shout back something suitably cutting, but it was too late. Paul had already rounded the corner and disappeared from view. Reggie was sick and tired of constantly looking after his younger brother, and really didn't feel like dealing with him any more at that point.

Paul couldn't stand it. His older brother had always been better than him at everything, but this…this was the nail in the coffin. He paused for a moment to kick a mailbox.

"Shit." He wasn't exactly acting like himself. Normally cold and calculating, Paul had a tendency to fly off the handle around his brother. He'd gotten lost in his hate-fueled wanderings. He sat down on the curb beside the mailbox he'd just assaulted, muttering curses under his breath.

"Hey!" he heard a familiar voice, but he couldn't quite place it because his thoughts were too clouded by anger. Definitely fe-

Paul was knocked into the street by a flying kick to his upper back. "You! Vandalizing mailboxes during lunchtime! What's wrong with you?"

Maylene. At least the second-worst possible person for Paul to have run into at this point. No wonder the house had looked vaguely familiar.

Paul looked up from where he was now lying almost face-first on the cobbled street. _There's the Gym, right over there. Why didn't I notice that before?_

"Oh, Arceus, it's Paul! Sorry, I didn't notice it was you, but you really shouldn't be attacking peoples' mailboxes, especially at this time of day. I was eating a sandwich-" the pink-haired Gym Leader trailed off, picking Paul's spilt Pokéballs up off the ground.

"You." Paul finally snapped out of his daze and stood up. "You and my brother. You…" He made a disgusted sound in the back of his throat.

"Oh, is that what this is about? Is that why you just kicked in my mailbox while I was eating lunch?"

Paul allowed himself a quick glance at the mailbox. His vision was swimming slightly. _Do I have a concussion? _The mailbox was in really bad shape.

"Shit, did I really do that?" he muttered, rubbing his head.

"Yes, you did." Maylene sighed. "Y'know what, let's get you some painkillers, and we can talk about you buying me a new mailbox later."

The next thing Paul knew, he was in the Pokémon Center. _The hell? Am I in a hospital bed? I didn't even know they treated human patients at Pokémon Centers._

He slowly realized that Reggie and Maylene were both standing over him, looking concerned.

"Oh, screw you guys. I don't need this-"

"Paul."

"What?"

"I was going to tell you," Reggie sighed, "that I bought you a car so that you don't have to get rides to places in the car I lost my virginity in."

Paul couldn't remember any time when he'd felt quite so simultaneously happy, pissed off, and dizzy.

"I'm sorry I gave you a concussion," Maylene mumbled.

-several years later-

_Darn it, this is my last Pokémon, _Maylene thought. "Go, Lucario!" she shouted, tossing the Pokéball with that sort of fierce last-ditch determination that is so familiar to any Trainer who's ever been put in a tight spot.

The challenger stood resolute, down to her last Pokémon as well. Her Infernape was tired, but otherwise unhurt.

"Okay, Darwin, how about….Flamethrower!" she shouted, and her Pokémon complied, as Maylene's Lucario leapt up to dodge.

"Aura Sphere!"

"Mach Punch!"

The two Pokémon ducked, dodged, and attacked, neither landing a single blow for what almost felt like hours.

Finally, one of the attacks connected. It was the Infernape's Flamethrower. Maylene's Lucario staggered backwards, and fell, too tired to continue. The challenger had won.

"Wow, it's been a while since I've had so much fun in a battle!" Maylene remarked cheerfully.

"Same here!" the challenger replied, grinning.

"But I guess I have a lot of reasons to be happy today…" Maylene said, "Did you know…my boyfriend proposed to me today!"

"Awww…that's awesome! So who's-"

"Wait," Maylene interrupted her, "I think…I'm getting a sneaking suspicion that my future brother-in-law is attacking my mailbox again."

END.


End file.
